he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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