So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
