I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
