dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
