did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have peed in a lot of sinks
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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