Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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