I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
