You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
