I hate all girls vehemently.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
