So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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