Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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