gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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