i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
