Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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