I bet he comes in French.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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