So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
