Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
