Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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