We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
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well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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