I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
