I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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