dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
