why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
