sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
