i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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