i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
