Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
