we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
