i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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