i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
