guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
