so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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