Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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