Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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