Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
false alarm. still invincible.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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