Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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