She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
