May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
