It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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