Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
