Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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