And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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