so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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