would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
