The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
