So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
