Whod you bang
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
