operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
