Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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