i just had sex bonerless
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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