Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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