3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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