I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I did not marry a roomba.
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