That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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