Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know her cup size but not her name....
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