I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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