how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
