I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
