Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
