Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
