i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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