end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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