im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
