Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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