I'm gonna have a badass scar
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i love accidental penises.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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