By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
