Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize